October 10, 2006

My cousin was staying with her parents for the last month preparing for the birth of her first baby. She spent the 9 months of pregnancy in a depression coma. Whenever we talk to her on the phone she speaks normally for few minutes then cannot control the lump down her through she hands over the phone to whoever is close to her.

She and her husband got married very traditionally, she was very stubborn when it came to marriage and she did not like anyone and we were very surprised when she finally said Yes to a suitor. A sparkle danced between them while the two families were visiting and they got married after few months.
They were very eager to have a baby despite the circumstances. She got pregnant with a twin at first and they both died in her womb when she was exposed to a strong shock when a bomb hit their neighborhood. They named the two baby girls and buried them. They both cried like kids and paid a lot of efforts and time until they recovered. When they got pregnant for the second time, my cousin and her husband made sure they act stronger and try hard this time not to be affected by anything around them. Her husband was a very hard worker. He studied to be a pilot and was only 19 when the war of Iran ended. After this last war he was accepted as a Civilian Pilot after taking months of courses in Jordan.

While my other cousin and his mother were rushing her to the hospital after 2am in one of these days, they saw a bunch of civilian armed men. Who else other than the Mehdi Militia!! Surprisingly they did not shoot but they stopped the car from distance shouting and pointing the guns at the man behind the wheel and the two women in the back seat. My cousin put his arms in the air and stepped out of the car which was about 100 meter away from the armed men and went to them and pleaded them to let him pass through. He was dead scared that they would ask for his ID but they did not. They asked him to drive the car towards them very slowly. He did that and he stopped near them. After it was searched by a nosey bunch of them watching the hurting in labor mother to be in the back seat with her crying mother they allowed them to get through.

They tried to avoid the main streets and started getting into the neighborhood small streets to avoid any other armed groups but most of those small streets were blocked by the people of the neighborhood themselves fearing from any external forces. Since the government is incapable of protecting its people, the people had to find ways to do so.

It was dangerous to get into the neighborhoods for the people who are guarding their houses sitting with their guns on the roofs might think wrong of the car and might shoot .

After about 45minutes they reached the hospital which is about 10 minutes away if things were normal.

While giving birth, the nurses scared my cousin’s mother when they were exiting the delivery room with tears.

"What happened to my daughter?" My cousin’s mother asked the Nurse.
Nurse: "She is fine and her baby boy is fine too. Congratulations!"
The Mother: "Then why crying? Please tell me frankly if she is ok?".
Nurse::" No she is fine and you do not need to be worried" .. The nurse continued with the sorrow look in her eyes "Your daughter was calling her husband’s name while delivering and asking God to bring him back to her and their baby".

They say that the prayers of a woman during her labor are all answered. That what must my cousin was trying to do by pleading God at her most difficult moments.

Her husband was kidnapped when she was four months pregnant by armed men in ING uniforms raiding the company in broad daylight with their military vehicles.More than 40 employees were kidnapped along with him. No ransom was demanded and not one official paper stating the arrest was found.

We never heard of him again despite the contacts and "wastats" both families tried.

She named the baby Hasan as his father wanted.

Hasen was born fatherless and he might grow up hearing the word father not knowing what its meaning but I doubt if he would have issues understanding other words.. Democracy for example.